Basketball + Football + MMA =

That's right, it's the WNBA!!! I never thought I'd write this post.

Here's the deal -- click here. You have to. It's a WNBA brawl the like of which is, apparently, unprecedented. It involves a couple good tackles, a would-be peacemaker getting taken off in a wheelchair, and a player smacking an assistant coach in the back. Really, I am truly incapable of making this stuff up. Seriously, click the link. And, of course, I have thoughts.

1) Detroit, I love you. You KNOW I do! Have you seen my office? That's real, kids. And that's real love! But let's face it -- something has to be done about Detroit and basketball. Do you remember the Pistons/Pacers brawl from a few years ago when players went into the stands and fans came onto the court to get into the action? Of course you do! Guess what? Exact same arena. Only difference, really, is that there weren't enough fans at the WNBA game to get frisky (and probably no one wanted to get beaten up by a girl -- that's tough to live down). And, of course, a few years before that, Detroit was home to the teams that called themselves the "bad boys" (see below for more on that, in fact). So I think the only reasonable conclusion is to say "Detroit -- it's over. You've lost your basketball privileges."

2) Hey fellas, do you see how that worked? While watching Lions games the last several years, I've often lamented that our poor tackling has had much to do with excessive falling down. I guess not! These girls didn't let their position on the deck hold them back. I hope Marinelli and the crew were taking notes -- a winning season once a decade or so doesn't usually seem like too much to ask.

3) At about 2:57 you can see a player smack Rick Mahorn (Detroit assistant coach, I'm told) square in the back. I don't think I really need to make jokes here, right?

4) Speaking of Mahorn, he's coaching with old friend Bill Laimbeer, who were both at the center of the old Pistons "bad boys" teams that were so bad that Dennis Rodman was completely overshadowed by these two cats. So how are we supposed to be surprised when their teams go "bad girls"? Who's out there saying "Wow, I can't believe this happened. This is Bill's and Rick's team that was involved in this? The guy from Bill Laimbeer's Combat Basketball? Really? The guys who made Rodman look like a boy scout? Quick -- get your calculator -- I've GOT to check out this two-and-two thing I've been hearing about!"

5) Let me hear your own thoughts in the comments, y'all!

The Scream Certain Selected Portions of the Prayer Tour

With all due respect to the Stronger Than Hell tour, the summer's premiere extreme tour dropped into town on Tuesday night, and it was cool. Here's the skinny:

Pre-show

Because there were so many bands, the show was slated to start at 3:30 in the afternoon. Of course that's rough for a lot of people with jobs (which, interestingly enough, did NOT apply to me that particular day), so I stood in line overhearing comments like "Yeah, so-and-so's coming to town, but it's an 18 and over show!" "I was in Hot Topic yesterday and I saw. . . ." "They're really old school, I think they started back in, like, '06 or something." (Ok, I made that last one up.) I'm used to feeling out of place at shows, but yikes. Finally Jason showed up, and I wasn't sure if I was happier to see somebody I knew or somebody over 16 years old. Either way, it was better that way.

Better, that is, until we chatted with a merch guy (or band member? there were like 12,000, who can keep track) who listed off the bands that were going to be playing, with the notable exception of With Blood Comes Cleansing. They're absence caught me, because I thought it was weird that they were supposed to be playing near the start when they were on Victory. Turns out they had to drop off a few days before. Too bad. After walking away we realized that he hadn't mentioned Soul Embraced, either. Sure enough, both bands were missing without a word of explanation or apology. Bad deal, but the good news is that losing two bands of that magnitude would have been enough to cripple a lesser tour, but not this one. Nice.

Sing the Prayer with a Sappy Melodic and Slightly Off-Key Portion of the Show

The first three bands screamed. . . um. . . with clean melodious "screams"? There was, of course, some metal, but too much singy Underoath-style stuff going on. Not my bag. Andy, TJ, and Matt did show up, so that was a plus for these sets. And -- oh yeah -- an out of control dancer kicked a dude standing beside me in the chest hard enough that he left the building. The dancer didn't seem to notice.

Blessed By a Broken Heart

How do you follow three mediocre sappy bands? I suppose Blessed By a Broken Heart is one way. These guys are weird, even for being Canadian. Fog machines, an amped up light show, and hair right out of Stone Cold (no, THIS Stone Cold). Otherwise, the guitarist surely shredded, and I wouldn't pop them in and "bop out!" per se, but they put on a fun show. Real beef though, with the frontman -- you HAVE to either keep that shirt on or pull those pants up. Seriously, look how things are ending up for Britney. Regardless, it was an experience.

War of Ages

Awesome as always, but why did BBABH get to try to play themselves back into being cool and War of Ages only gets five songs? Having seen them several times in smaller venues it was cool to hear them with a good pa and all that, though.

MyChildren MyBride

Here's the truth -- MyChildren MyBride sound better on their album than they do live. Of course, they really sound pretty great on the record and it was still good to see them, but a little disappointing anyway. Also, the same out of control dancer hit a kid who was standing on the outside of the pit in the face during this set (I believe). He didn't notice until someone pointed him to the kid bending down holding his face. A minute later the poor dude left the building, still holding his face (couldn't tell if it was a nose or an eye or what, excactly).

Impending Doom

The polar opposite of MCMB is Impending Doom. Honestly, despite it's insane brutality level, their album doesn't do a lot for me. Live? Amazing. Also, the frontman did a great -- not good, great -- job of speaking about Jesus Christ. Sometimes I go to shows and bands will try to talk about stuff, but they're just not good at it. It's ok -- if you play music and it slays, play music. But this dude is the RIGHT guy to speak up and say something. Really well done. And although I knew his name, Andy's joke afterward was pretty great: "I guess if your name's Brook you have to learn to scream that low." Ha ha ha, nice! Oh yeah, and the SAME out of control dancer hurt a third person during their set. I didn't see this one happen, but I think it was a fellow dancer this time. That guy left the building, too. Hmmm, maybe if you're hurting multiple people on the same night, something's wrong and it's NOT everybody else? Seriously, I understand dancing and all that, but when you have 300-ish square feet to do your thing do you think you could not injure the people who just want to enjoy the show? Please?

Sleeping Giant

Much like Impending Doom, I'm not the biggest fan of the Sleeping Giant record -- but after the show, I'm a big fan of Sleeping Giant. This is a legit minsitry band like I haven't seen since Jesus Freaks, except these dudes were even better at presenting their beliefs in an appropriate and meaningful way. I can't fully go along with everything he said, but along with Impending Doom these cats are absolute dynamite at proclaiming Jesus to a subculture that's almost completley rejected him. Really, really nicely done, and a completely unique show experience. I was toiling in the obscurity of South Dakota/rural Minnesota during the original "spirit-filled hardcore" scene, but I wonder if it was a lot like that. I hope it was. And -- oh yeah -- nobody was hurt that I could tell, but out of control dancer after hurting three people? Oh yeah, he was back.


Final thoughts? Even without WBCC and Soul Embraced, the best tour that I've seen come through Louisville. Nothing can measure up to Crimson Moonlight, Becoming the Archetype, and Aletheian that I drove 6 hours for, but this was a sight and a sound and an experience all in one. Now next time let's just keep those spin kicks compact and those drawers pulled up, fellas. . . .

Where Have I Been?

I've been here. . . mostly. I know it's been a while since I've posted, but there's a perfectly good reason. After the eighteen-month long NBA post-season that culminated in Banner Seventeen I was on an adrenaline high for like a month. And I know it hasn't quite been a month, but still, it was pretty cool. Until I finally came down and realized that it was time to re-order my life in a couple of areas.

I'm always tired, you see, and tired is no way to live your life! So I'd started trying to run, but it was inordinately more difficult then a few years ago. Now I'm not THAT much older yet, so I wondered if it was something different. I sleep well and soundly, so I can't blame apnea, and so now I've taken on taking out caffeine. That's right, I've been working on quitting my one adored addiction.

Now I'm not one to sensationalize (the "adrenaline for a month" bit notwithstanding, of course) -- I'm not a HUGE caffeine junky like some people are. I would typically have about 12 oz. of coffee in the morning and a Dew or a Coke around lunch or mid-afternoon. That was basically every day, and comes out to about 250 mg. Then on days that started early or went long or whatever, though, it could spike considerably above that level, and my daily routine was in need of a boost to maintain mood and energy level already. I didn't want to add MORE, though, I hate the idea of being controlled by a substance, and I've heard people say that they feel and think and work better when they're off the juice, so I decided to take that route.

I'm not there yet, but after about 2 weeks, I'm down to around 60-70 mg a day (that's an 8 oz. cup of "half caff" in the morning, and then no mas!). And it hasn't been too bad! I figure I'm no more than a week or two at the most from being completely de-toxed, at which time I'll find some other excuse for sporadic posting.

Credit Where It's Due

I'm pretty hard on the entertainment industry sometimes, and let's face it -- they deserve it -- their products are generally uninspired, uninteresting, and unwatchable (no text message required, Jim). But in the interest of fair play and honest recognition, I've been pleasantly surprised at a couple different films this summer already, and so I offer my open praise and admiration where it's deserved:

1) Iron Man. I know it's old news now, but this is the best movie I've seen in a LONG time, and the first I've seen twice in a theater since. . . the first Lord of the Rings maybe? Fun, funny, and dare I say "cool"? Seriously, it finished and my WIFE said, "Well that was super cool!" THAT doesn't happen often.

2) Get Smart. It's no Dumb and Dumber, but it was pretty funny. Of course, seeing movies with Jamey isn't always a good litmus test to tell if a movie's actually funny on it's own merits or not, but regardless, I went, I laughed, I left. And that's pretty much exactly what I was looking for.

3) Hancock. Not on Iron Man level, but another that wins with both the wife and myself, and that's no easy task. Plus, I was just starting to get bored at about an hour and a half, so I glanced at the time -- oh no! There's TOTALLY another 40 minutes left to wade through -- why do they always do that? But nope -- then it ended, right when it should have! It's sad when a movie gets bonus points for ending, but that's what the industry has come to, and so there it is.

4) Sort of unrelated as Bombworks Records isn't exactly "the industry", but I finally picked up Common Yet Forbidden's album, and my good golly-gosh that thing blasts and thrashes and flat-picks and just slays generally and to an exponential degree. Best record I've heard in a long time, and just wholly satisfying on every level possible.

Finally -- and completely unrelated, but it's a landmark day in my life and bears mentioning -- on Saturday my Championship t-shirt arrived. DVD ships later this month. Has life EVER been this good?

Green Seventeen!

After weeks of remaining silent about the progress of the Celtics, it's time to indulge me in a 2nd straight post honoring the men in green. You've brought me the first professional championship I've tasted in 22 years, and thus I offer my humble tribute.

Danny Ainge: Like your jumper, you've hit some and missed others. This year, however, you truly made magic happen. Absolutely incredible job.

Doc Rivers: I still don't really know if you're a good NBA coach or not (or what that is, really), but you got the results.

Paul Pierce: As Bill Simmons would say, "Welcome to the pantheon." You've just entered Celtic immortality.

Kevin Garnett: Nobody's worked harder or cared more. With more guys like you, people might actually watch the NBA.

Ray Allen: Definitive of "professional athlete" in the best sense of the phrase.

Rajon Rondo: UK basketball players who won championships in Boston: Antoine Walker? No. Tony Delk? No again. Walter McCarty? Hardly. Ron Mercer? Psh. Rajon Rondo? Yes, yes I believe so!

Kendrick Perkins: I love how your looks killed every official who ever called you for any foul under any circumstance. The season's over and you won, so go ahead and smile now. It's ok. Honest.

James Posey: A "bench player" in lineup status only. Truly indispensable, and the entire Celtic Nation begs you to return and win again.

Leon Powe: Although the rest of the watching world stopped with mouth agape, no Celtic fan was surprised when you scored 20 points in a Finals game.

Eddie House: Your go-ahead shot in game 4 stands out, but certainly not because it was your only big moment.

P. J. Brown: I'll admit, when we signed you, I didn't think we needed you. I was wrong.

Sam Cassell: Wow, do you like to shoot the ball or what!

Glen Davis: Nobody in the history of basketball has taken more abuse and gotten fewer calls. Maybe flashing that ring will help next year?

Tony Allen: Um. . . you sure did get a couple minutes there at the end, eh?

Brian Scalabrine: By remaining on the roster, you serve as a reminder to us all about how far the team has come in so short a time. And it's pretty cool that you can joke about it.

Scot Pollard: You never saw the court, but the way you gave up that "t" to make your name a bona-fide four letter word exemplifies teamwork.

Gabe Pruitt: Look, you really didn't NEED Scot's "t". "Pruit" would have been just fine. But you get a ring anyway.


Finally, just a short word to Celtic fans everywhere (and I know we ARE everywhere!) -- leave Kobe alone. You can't criticize a guy for not being as good as MJ after all. Seriously, what if you were compared to the all-time greats at whatever you do? The GREAT accountants. CEO's. Lawyers. French-fry cooks. You wouldn't measure up, either. It's ridiculous, like knocking Pierce for not being Bird. Just let it go. We won! Don't gloat like a punk, go order your championship gear and be happy. We're the champs! Everybody else is irrelevant.

B-Day Shuffle Play

If you know me, you know that there are really only two "things" in life that I care about ("things" excluding God and people): cd's and sports. And if you know me well, you know that I have a pretty good cd collection and you know which teams I've been cheering for 20-some years solid.

Well yesterday the 17th was my birthday, and Baby hooked me up with exactly what I wanted -- you see, my two 100-cd towers have been over-filled for some time now, and the space below the tv in the entertainment center was virtually out of space for the "discard" pile, too. Plus, I had the constant struggle of organization -- which cd's make it into the sacred tower, and how is this determined? And of course they're all alphabetical by artist (and chronological within the artist, naturally), and then when you pick up -- say, the latest Apostisy album, and you know it's worthy of a place, you have to determine which cd to REplace, right, and if it's, say, a mediocre Zao offering, well that's about 195 cd's to re-arrange, one at a time. It's a lot of re-arranging, you see, and so this new high-capacity shelf system is going to make all of that null and void. It's great!

You know who I have nothing on, though? They guy who's going to have to re-arrange and make room for Banner Number Seventeen. It's been a loooooong 22 years (keep in mind, I'm not a "Boston" sports fan, and it's been since '86 since any of "my" pro teams have won), and I was never really sure it would happen again. So happy. So, so happy.

Celebrity Poster!

Well Hello Ross

and everybody else who is a Flogger. . . (Is that the way to say it?) Oh well, imagine my surprise when we, my whole family were together from several states meeting in San Diego for my oldest sons wedding. (His 2nd one).

My granddaughter and I sitting at the computer playing around when she Googled my name and somehow up came this Flogging site. (I said Flogging, that's even better then Freeken.)

She started screaming and laughing and it brought the whole family in to read all about me. Yeah, me! There were people talking about me on the net. You all with your comments gave us such a great time that night as we laughed and laughed at them. A good time was had by all.

My daughter, Tammy Sue, who be now refer to as Heidie, (is that how its spelled?) because one of you floggers said that's who she should be. She filled out the form and done what ever you do to get on there to be a flogger too. She did it so she could contact you letting you know we were onto you and your flogging comments.

If you've heard her sing with me you know she has a voice thats pure; Course I'm not sure you guys like pure. Now that totally blows my mind. What are we coming to if we have generation who doesn't like pure, clear, clean voices and songs you can understand.

By now you've figured out I'm of an older generation. I admit a lot of the country stuff isn't that pure. I've always said of myself, I'm not a country singer; I'm a Western singer. There is a difference.

I've always commented in my concerts that a country singer sings songs like "Who stoled my Beer while I was in the mens room". Western singers sing songs like, " If my nose was runnin' money I'd blow it all on you"

(come on, thats a joke)

I told that to my wife once. I said. . . "Honey, If my nose was runnin' money I'd blow it all on you. . ." She said. . ."Yeah but its not"

SORRY, I did it again.

Ok, you want to know about me? Sure ya do.

As my one song "The Idaho Yodeler" explains word for word I was only around 11 years old. With 10 kids in our family and on a farm we entertained ourselves by listening to old 78 records one at a time on a wind up phonograph. We stood around with broom sticks, mop sticks and what ever else would resemble a musical instrument and listen to songs imitating who ever was singing and or playing.

One of us always had a table spoon that was a microphone. Taking turns with it we would pantomime or imitate who ever was singing and that person who had the spoon was the star for that song. . . .

We had a record by a singing and yodeler known as Elton Britt who sang and yodeled a song called "She taught me to yodel". It was my turn to have the spoon and imitate Elton Britt. He started singing and I sang along. When he came to the yodeling part I tried to do that and it rolled out as if I'd been doing it all my life. It was no struggle and was as easy as talking or singing. It just came out natural from down in my voice box (most people think its with the tongue, no, its back down there in the voice box). I found myself yodeling right along with the record. My brothers and sisters stopped playing the broom sticks and whatever and just stared at me not believing what they were hearing. I even stopped to see if it was me doing it.

Well I gotta find a way to end this story but it wasn't long after that my dad bought me a guitar, I taught myself a few chords and after doing a few local talent shows I got on a show called "Ted Mack Amateur Hour". The equivalent of American Idol today. Of course it was the first talent show on television which at that time was black and white. (Do you floggers know what black and white is?)

I won the show 3 times in a row, was offered opportunities to go on to what might have been big time stardom however by that time I'd joined the military and my commanding General insisted I serve my time and then pursue the big time later. I had 4 years to do. By they I'd been forgotten.

I became a police officer after the service in the military and then a narcotics officer for the State of Idaho. After a few years there I began working with drug rehab centers. Eventually I left law enforcement to become involved full time with a rehab center called "Bible Way Rehabilitation Center" in Richland Washington.

As a member of the staff of this Christian organization I started a singing group made up of several ex drug addicts. This was back in the hippie days.

Now imagine if you will. . . here is a ex narcotics officer leading a group of singers who are ex drug addicts. As we traveled around the Northwest singing up beat contemporary Gospel music in parks, beaches, conventions, schools, churches, each one in the group would between songs share how they had been on drugs and were now free and how. ( I won't go into all that except to say Jesus was involved). There were hippies everywhere and they came by the bunches to our concerts and we recruited them to follow us back to Richland where we gave them shelter, food and teaching.

It was while leading this group I started writing Gospel yodeling songs. I no anyone had ever heard of such a thing but I took the scripture where it says in Psalm 100 to "Make a joyful noise" which means make any gleeful sound. I used that as my excuse and began to sing and yodel gospel songs which became such accepted then that soon I was being invited all over the United States and Canada.

I eventually left the rehab center as invitations came from so many different places and so far away there was no way to take a whole group of 40 young people with me. A little note. . . most of them ended up in one type of ministry or another and some are missionaries. Talk about a successful rehab program huh?

So I could go on and on and tell you stories that even I have a hard time believing happened but they did but I spent the last 30 years traveling the world and not once did I ever look for a place or ask for a place to sing and share with every denomination and Christian group or organization you can name. Matter of fact I stopped counting at singing at over 6000 Full Gospel business men's Banquets.

Oh yes, I also did and do a lot of secular (That's not Gospel to you floggers)

concerts where I sing allot of the old yodeling western songs from the past plus I have written many of my own.

My career was cut short a year and a half ago as I was standing on my own lawn minding my own business when a young man with a pickup truck came across my lawn at about 65 miles an hour and hit me square. I was standing next to another pickup that kept me up or he'd have run over me and killed me but instead he turned that pickup completely around with me in between, then went on and hit a couple more vehicles. My right leg was badly smashed and after a month in the hospital getting it put together I have spent most of the time since then in therapy getting my leg to work again. I had to have the knee replaced just a couple month ago which was the last operation needed to put me back on my feet.

I have not sung or yodeled since. I am back on my feet but with a terrible limp that I'm not sure will ever go away. I still have the yodel though I'm out of practice, I can still sing but I don't know where I go from here.

I plan on going to Arizona for the winter where I have spent many winters doing concerts for the snow birds. (That's all those retired folks who go south for the winter in case you floggers don't know.) Maybe I'll get started again but for now I'm just taking it one day at a time.

I hope this hasn't been too boring and I hope its not too long. There just was no place to start or stop because there is so much more on either end of the story.

Thank you all for allowing me to share this. Go ahead and blog or flog or what ever and I will enjoy every bit of it.

You all are terrific and you made my year.

Sincerely,

Buzz Goertzen

The Idaho Yodeler

www.theidahoyodeler.com