Metal From Heaven, Redux

Early in the year, I posted my top ten albums for 2007, noting that there were a couple of notable releases that I'd missed and would have likely altered the list substantially. Now nearly into October, I think I've managed to check out most all of the important releases, and the list HAS changed somewhat. It's not timely, but in the interest of credit where it's due, here's something closer to a "final" best of for 2007, all IMHO, of course:

Honorable Mention:

Deborah -- Soteria: Honestly, this has some great moments but has no business on a "best of" list. That said, when a female, Christian, Mexican black metal band puts out an album that has any real merit (which it does), it seems to deserve honorable mention, no? Also, this should be notable because it ought to be required listening and the new benchmark. Do you have a band? Good, I hope you do. And I hope you're really excited about it. BUT -- if you can't top this, don't ask me to listen. Let me put it differently -- if you can't do better than Mexican Christian women, maybe black metal isn't your thing. If you still want to try, great. Keep working, keep practicing, and keep improving, but in the meantime, take down your band's myspace and stop spamming the message boards. When you can do this well or better, then we'll be very happy to listen.

Inhale/Exhale -- The Lost, The Sick, The Sacred: I never really worked to pick this up, because I was sure it was either more Solid State pseudo-metal or weak As I Lay Dying rip-offs. It's more melodic than I'd like, but it turns out to be a pretty solid effort.

Oh, Sleeper -- When I Am God: I had almost conciously ignored (if that's possible) this band untill a buddy loaned me the cd. I was shocked at how much I liked this. Sometimes I love being wrong!

Remove the Veil -- Another Way Home: "Southern metal" is burning itself out at record pace, but this is just one fun listen. "You're the devil chiiiiiiiiiiild!"

Dagon -- Paranormal Ichthyology: A fun album from a criminally overlooked band.

Seventh Star -- The Undisputed Truth: A great swan song from a top-shelf hardcore band.

Apostisy -- Famine of a Thousand Frozen Years: This band came from WAY off the radar to within a hair's breadth of cracking the list. If the entire album wasn't played at exactly the same tempo, it probably would have made it.


And the winners:

10) Deliverance -- As Above, So Below: A return to greatness from one of the scene's founding bands. It's the feel-good story of the year!

9) Nodes of Ranvier -- Defined By Struggle: South Dakota's finest make good even as they hang up their metaphorical cleats.

8) My Silent Wake -- The Anatomy of Melancholy: Dooooooming metal that's beautiful and epic and just plain wonderful.

7) Becoming the Archetype -- The Physics of Fire: When an album comes in as a disappointment at number seven, that speaks volumes for their previous work, right?

6) Feast Eternal -- With Fire: Sure, they made a splash in a quality-starved scene 8 years earlier, but the bar had been raised a long way since then, and to be honest I doubted that they'd be able to cut it. Once again, I LOVE being wrong!

5) Immortal Souls -- Winterreich: Wow. When an album THIS good comes in at number 5, it's a banner year.

4) August Burns Red -- Messengers: Jaw-dropping in precision and technicality.

3) A Plea for Purging -- A Critique of Mind and Thought: Brilliant high-end shredding metal(core) becomes the greatest new sound of the year and nearly takes over the world.

2) Common Yet Forbidden -- The Struggle: Blast-beating technical brutality that never slows down or sleeps. That's the recipe for giving me exactly what I want, kids!

1) As I Lay Dying -- An Ocean Between Us: I know, it's a generic choice, and I hate it for that. But I LOVE it for being a brilliantly amazing album. Brutal, catchy, melodic, memorable, and about as close to perfect as you could dare imagine. This is what happens when the rare combination of talent, passion, and professionalism come together.

What's It Going to Take?

Lions fans have been asking this for years, and finally we have the answer. What's it take for Matt Millen to be fired from the front office?

31-84. 53 games under .500. A record that would take over three seasons of perfect, 16-0 records just to get back to even. Too many botched draft picks to count, 3 different head coaches and innumerable co-ordinators fired (including Mike Martz, who was fired after last year and then beat us this Sunday in San Fransisco -- yep, he was what was keeping us down, all right!). Starting and re-starting and building and re-building only to remain firmly stuck in neutral, and in neutral at the back of the pack.

In fairness, it's not necessarily all his fault. There was some bad luck with things like promising draft pick Charles Rogers breaking his collar bone twice. There were picks that looked solid to everybody at the time but didn't turn out (see Joey Harrington, for example). And I do, to a certain degree, admire his unwillingness to quit even when the entire world could see that he was in over his head and not really making any progress.

But after 7+ years and failing to EVER field a team that could boast "average," the camel's back wasn't just broken by one straw too many -- it was broken, then preyed on by the carnivorous desert creatures, fully metabolized, and then excreted back into the desert itself.

And so the battle is half-way won. Millen is done, and there's hope. But we know the team's still a long way from being good, and there's going to have to be more re-building before a contending team can be on the field, and even that can only happen if -- and this is a BIG if -- we can get somebody in charge who's going to be able to get it done. And the person in charge of that? Well, if you didn't already know this, his last name is Ford, and his recent track record isn't a whole lot better.

An Open Letter to Football Commentators

I know it doesn't really matter, but after the first full football-watching weekend, there's one small item that I would like to bring to the attention of football commentators everywhere:

There's no 1/2 yard line.

Or 1 foot line.

Or 6 inch line.

Or, really, anything else without a line.

It's not that hard.

NFL Preview Edition!

Apparently it's the cool thing to do. And you know I'll do anything to be cool, so here it is! The lowdown on every single team, and for free! Of course, the premium subscription will cost you, but it doesn't exist. Trust me though -- if it did, it would be terribly hard-hitting and insightful.

Atlanta: They'll play 16 games.

Arizona: They're very likely to play 16 games.

Baltimore: Probably 16 games.

Buffalo: I guess they'll play 16 games, but it's going to get really cold.

Carolina: The Vegas over/under for them is 16 games. I wouldn't touch it.

Chicago: Chicago should be right around 16 games.

Cincinnati: They'll play 16 games, but they'll do it with cool stripes on their helmets.

Cleveland: Much like Cincinnati, except with no logo whatsoever on their helmets.

Dallas: 16 games, no prediction on arrests.

Denver: They'll keep playing all the way through a 16-game schedule.

Detroit: Their best player (S Rogers) is gone from the already questionable d-line, and although Darby should be a serviceable replacement, the defense will still miss it's one true game-changer. The secondary should be much better, but the linebackers (Sims aside) are below par and the aforementioned line is questionable. On offense, the only rookie to make his way into the starting lineup (K Smith) is replacing K Jones, who was apparently cut for being hurt too much. Smith (with new acquisition Rudi Johnson) should bring adequate (although certainly below top-tier) skill to the backfield, Kitna's a decent qb and the receivers should be good, but the line is the same. And that's not good. Bottom line -- some exciting pieces on both sides of the ball, but I'm desperately afraid that game in, game out, they're going to get beaten up in the trenches. They won't be able to run OR stop the run with consistency, and their opponents will likely be able to sustain much more pressure on the qb then they will. I hope I'm wrong (and I'm wrong a LOT), but it looks like somewhere around 6-10 to me.

Green Bay: Are they really going to play 16 games with no Brett Favre? Yes, yes they are.

Houston: Yeah, 16 games.

Indianapolis: Not only will they play 16 games, but half of them will be in their shiny new stadium. Which is great, because their last one was ghetto.

Jacksonville: They'll play 16 games, and a lot of people will misprounoucne "Jagaurs".

Kansas City: My crystal ball says 16 games. And I don't even have a crystal ball!

Miami: They'll play 16 games, give or take.

Minnesota: I guess they'll play 16 games, which is a good idea. But they'll do so wearing purple, which is a categorically bad idea for a football team.

New England: They'll play 16 games and their coach will look like they're losing every one of them.

New Orleans: Their schedule looks like a 16 gamer to me.

New York Giants: They're going to play 16 games and win at least one.

New York Jets: Hey, they got that Brett Favre guy, right?

Oakland: They should see the field for about 16 games, but their fans will still act like the league hosed them out of 15 of them.

Philadelphia: They also will play 16 games, but their fans will boo anyway.

Pittsburg: They get to play 16 games like everybody else, but they have to play 8 of them in a stadium named after a tomato condiment.

San Diego: 16 games? Gauranteed. Staying classy? We'll have to wait and see.

San Fransisco: They're looking a lot like about a 16-game team.

Seattle: They're looking at about 16 games and scattered showers.

St. Louis: After 16 games, we'll know what kind of season they're in for.

Tampa Bay: It's going to take around 10 games to make the playoffs, and they'll have 16 chances to get it done.

Tennessee: They'll be very, very close to 16 games.

Washington: 16 games, but no more than 15 wins. Seriously.