Basketball + Football + MMA =

That's right, it's the WNBA!!! I never thought I'd write this post.

Here's the deal -- click here. You have to. It's a WNBA brawl the like of which is, apparently, unprecedented. It involves a couple good tackles, a would-be peacemaker getting taken off in a wheelchair, and a player smacking an assistant coach in the back. Really, I am truly incapable of making this stuff up. Seriously, click the link. And, of course, I have thoughts.

1) Detroit, I love you. You KNOW I do! Have you seen my office? That's real, kids. And that's real love! But let's face it -- something has to be done about Detroit and basketball. Do you remember the Pistons/Pacers brawl from a few years ago when players went into the stands and fans came onto the court to get into the action? Of course you do! Guess what? Exact same arena. Only difference, really, is that there weren't enough fans at the WNBA game to get frisky (and probably no one wanted to get beaten up by a girl -- that's tough to live down). And, of course, a few years before that, Detroit was home to the teams that called themselves the "bad boys" (see below for more on that, in fact). So I think the only reasonable conclusion is to say "Detroit -- it's over. You've lost your basketball privileges."

2) Hey fellas, do you see how that worked? While watching Lions games the last several years, I've often lamented that our poor tackling has had much to do with excessive falling down. I guess not! These girls didn't let their position on the deck hold them back. I hope Marinelli and the crew were taking notes -- a winning season once a decade or so doesn't usually seem like too much to ask.

3) At about 2:57 you can see a player smack Rick Mahorn (Detroit assistant coach, I'm told) square in the back. I don't think I really need to make jokes here, right?

4) Speaking of Mahorn, he's coaching with old friend Bill Laimbeer, who were both at the center of the old Pistons "bad boys" teams that were so bad that Dennis Rodman was completely overshadowed by these two cats. So how are we supposed to be surprised when their teams go "bad girls"? Who's out there saying "Wow, I can't believe this happened. This is Bill's and Rick's team that was involved in this? The guy from Bill Laimbeer's Combat Basketball? Really? The guys who made Rodman look like a boy scout? Quick -- get your calculator -- I've GOT to check out this two-and-two thing I've been hearing about!"

5) Let me hear your own thoughts in the comments, y'all!

The Scream Certain Selected Portions of the Prayer Tour

With all due respect to the Stronger Than Hell tour, the summer's premiere extreme tour dropped into town on Tuesday night, and it was cool. Here's the skinny:

Pre-show

Because there were so many bands, the show was slated to start at 3:30 in the afternoon. Of course that's rough for a lot of people with jobs (which, interestingly enough, did NOT apply to me that particular day), so I stood in line overhearing comments like "Yeah, so-and-so's coming to town, but it's an 18 and over show!" "I was in Hot Topic yesterday and I saw. . . ." "They're really old school, I think they started back in, like, '06 or something." (Ok, I made that last one up.) I'm used to feeling out of place at shows, but yikes. Finally Jason showed up, and I wasn't sure if I was happier to see somebody I knew or somebody over 16 years old. Either way, it was better that way.

Better, that is, until we chatted with a merch guy (or band member? there were like 12,000, who can keep track) who listed off the bands that were going to be playing, with the notable exception of With Blood Comes Cleansing. They're absence caught me, because I thought it was weird that they were supposed to be playing near the start when they were on Victory. Turns out they had to drop off a few days before. Too bad. After walking away we realized that he hadn't mentioned Soul Embraced, either. Sure enough, both bands were missing without a word of explanation or apology. Bad deal, but the good news is that losing two bands of that magnitude would have been enough to cripple a lesser tour, but not this one. Nice.

Sing the Prayer with a Sappy Melodic and Slightly Off-Key Portion of the Show

The first three bands screamed. . . um. . . with clean melodious "screams"? There was, of course, some metal, but too much singy Underoath-style stuff going on. Not my bag. Andy, TJ, and Matt did show up, so that was a plus for these sets. And -- oh yeah -- an out of control dancer kicked a dude standing beside me in the chest hard enough that he left the building. The dancer didn't seem to notice.

Blessed By a Broken Heart

How do you follow three mediocre sappy bands? I suppose Blessed By a Broken Heart is one way. These guys are weird, even for being Canadian. Fog machines, an amped up light show, and hair right out of Stone Cold (no, THIS Stone Cold). Otherwise, the guitarist surely shredded, and I wouldn't pop them in and "bop out!" per se, but they put on a fun show. Real beef though, with the frontman -- you HAVE to either keep that shirt on or pull those pants up. Seriously, look how things are ending up for Britney. Regardless, it was an experience.

War of Ages

Awesome as always, but why did BBABH get to try to play themselves back into being cool and War of Ages only gets five songs? Having seen them several times in smaller venues it was cool to hear them with a good pa and all that, though.

MyChildren MyBride

Here's the truth -- MyChildren MyBride sound better on their album than they do live. Of course, they really sound pretty great on the record and it was still good to see them, but a little disappointing anyway. Also, the same out of control dancer hit a kid who was standing on the outside of the pit in the face during this set (I believe). He didn't notice until someone pointed him to the kid bending down holding his face. A minute later the poor dude left the building, still holding his face (couldn't tell if it was a nose or an eye or what, excactly).

Impending Doom

The polar opposite of MCMB is Impending Doom. Honestly, despite it's insane brutality level, their album doesn't do a lot for me. Live? Amazing. Also, the frontman did a great -- not good, great -- job of speaking about Jesus Christ. Sometimes I go to shows and bands will try to talk about stuff, but they're just not good at it. It's ok -- if you play music and it slays, play music. But this dude is the RIGHT guy to speak up and say something. Really well done. And although I knew his name, Andy's joke afterward was pretty great: "I guess if your name's Brook you have to learn to scream that low." Ha ha ha, nice! Oh yeah, and the SAME out of control dancer hurt a third person during their set. I didn't see this one happen, but I think it was a fellow dancer this time. That guy left the building, too. Hmmm, maybe if you're hurting multiple people on the same night, something's wrong and it's NOT everybody else? Seriously, I understand dancing and all that, but when you have 300-ish square feet to do your thing do you think you could not injure the people who just want to enjoy the show? Please?

Sleeping Giant

Much like Impending Doom, I'm not the biggest fan of the Sleeping Giant record -- but after the show, I'm a big fan of Sleeping Giant. This is a legit minsitry band like I haven't seen since Jesus Freaks, except these dudes were even better at presenting their beliefs in an appropriate and meaningful way. I can't fully go along with everything he said, but along with Impending Doom these cats are absolute dynamite at proclaiming Jesus to a subculture that's almost completley rejected him. Really, really nicely done, and a completely unique show experience. I was toiling in the obscurity of South Dakota/rural Minnesota during the original "spirit-filled hardcore" scene, but I wonder if it was a lot like that. I hope it was. And -- oh yeah -- nobody was hurt that I could tell, but out of control dancer after hurting three people? Oh yeah, he was back.


Final thoughts? Even without WBCC and Soul Embraced, the best tour that I've seen come through Louisville. Nothing can measure up to Crimson Moonlight, Becoming the Archetype, and Aletheian that I drove 6 hours for, but this was a sight and a sound and an experience all in one. Now next time let's just keep those spin kicks compact and those drawers pulled up, fellas. . . .

Where Have I Been?

I've been here. . . mostly. I know it's been a while since I've posted, but there's a perfectly good reason. After the eighteen-month long NBA post-season that culminated in Banner Seventeen I was on an adrenaline high for like a month. And I know it hasn't quite been a month, but still, it was pretty cool. Until I finally came down and realized that it was time to re-order my life in a couple of areas.

I'm always tired, you see, and tired is no way to live your life! So I'd started trying to run, but it was inordinately more difficult then a few years ago. Now I'm not THAT much older yet, so I wondered if it was something different. I sleep well and soundly, so I can't blame apnea, and so now I've taken on taking out caffeine. That's right, I've been working on quitting my one adored addiction.

Now I'm not one to sensationalize (the "adrenaline for a month" bit notwithstanding, of course) -- I'm not a HUGE caffeine junky like some people are. I would typically have about 12 oz. of coffee in the morning and a Dew or a Coke around lunch or mid-afternoon. That was basically every day, and comes out to about 250 mg. Then on days that started early or went long or whatever, though, it could spike considerably above that level, and my daily routine was in need of a boost to maintain mood and energy level already. I didn't want to add MORE, though, I hate the idea of being controlled by a substance, and I've heard people say that they feel and think and work better when they're off the juice, so I decided to take that route.

I'm not there yet, but after about 2 weeks, I'm down to around 60-70 mg a day (that's an 8 oz. cup of "half caff" in the morning, and then no mas!). And it hasn't been too bad! I figure I'm no more than a week or two at the most from being completely de-toxed, at which time I'll find some other excuse for sporadic posting.

Credit Where It's Due

I'm pretty hard on the entertainment industry sometimes, and let's face it -- they deserve it -- their products are generally uninspired, uninteresting, and unwatchable (no text message required, Jim). But in the interest of fair play and honest recognition, I've been pleasantly surprised at a couple different films this summer already, and so I offer my open praise and admiration where it's deserved:

1) Iron Man. I know it's old news now, but this is the best movie I've seen in a LONG time, and the first I've seen twice in a theater since. . . the first Lord of the Rings maybe? Fun, funny, and dare I say "cool"? Seriously, it finished and my WIFE said, "Well that was super cool!" THAT doesn't happen often.

2) Get Smart. It's no Dumb and Dumber, but it was pretty funny. Of course, seeing movies with Jamey isn't always a good litmus test to tell if a movie's actually funny on it's own merits or not, but regardless, I went, I laughed, I left. And that's pretty much exactly what I was looking for.

3) Hancock. Not on Iron Man level, but another that wins with both the wife and myself, and that's no easy task. Plus, I was just starting to get bored at about an hour and a half, so I glanced at the time -- oh no! There's TOTALLY another 40 minutes left to wade through -- why do they always do that? But nope -- then it ended, right when it should have! It's sad when a movie gets bonus points for ending, but that's what the industry has come to, and so there it is.

4) Sort of unrelated as Bombworks Records isn't exactly "the industry", but I finally picked up Common Yet Forbidden's album, and my good golly-gosh that thing blasts and thrashes and flat-picks and just slays generally and to an exponential degree. Best record I've heard in a long time, and just wholly satisfying on every level possible.

Finally -- and completely unrelated, but it's a landmark day in my life and bears mentioning -- on Saturday my Championship t-shirt arrived. DVD ships later this month. Has life EVER been this good?