Green Seventeen!

After weeks of remaining silent about the progress of the Celtics, it's time to indulge me in a 2nd straight post honoring the men in green. You've brought me the first professional championship I've tasted in 22 years, and thus I offer my humble tribute.

Danny Ainge: Like your jumper, you've hit some and missed others. This year, however, you truly made magic happen. Absolutely incredible job.

Doc Rivers: I still don't really know if you're a good NBA coach or not (or what that is, really), but you got the results.

Paul Pierce: As Bill Simmons would say, "Welcome to the pantheon." You've just entered Celtic immortality.

Kevin Garnett: Nobody's worked harder or cared more. With more guys like you, people might actually watch the NBA.

Ray Allen: Definitive of "professional athlete" in the best sense of the phrase.

Rajon Rondo: UK basketball players who won championships in Boston: Antoine Walker? No. Tony Delk? No again. Walter McCarty? Hardly. Ron Mercer? Psh. Rajon Rondo? Yes, yes I believe so!

Kendrick Perkins: I love how your looks killed every official who ever called you for any foul under any circumstance. The season's over and you won, so go ahead and smile now. It's ok. Honest.

James Posey: A "bench player" in lineup status only. Truly indispensable, and the entire Celtic Nation begs you to return and win again.

Leon Powe: Although the rest of the watching world stopped with mouth agape, no Celtic fan was surprised when you scored 20 points in a Finals game.

Eddie House: Your go-ahead shot in game 4 stands out, but certainly not because it was your only big moment.

P. J. Brown: I'll admit, when we signed you, I didn't think we needed you. I was wrong.

Sam Cassell: Wow, do you like to shoot the ball or what!

Glen Davis: Nobody in the history of basketball has taken more abuse and gotten fewer calls. Maybe flashing that ring will help next year?

Tony Allen: Um. . . you sure did get a couple minutes there at the end, eh?

Brian Scalabrine: By remaining on the roster, you serve as a reminder to us all about how far the team has come in so short a time. And it's pretty cool that you can joke about it.

Scot Pollard: You never saw the court, but the way you gave up that "t" to make your name a bona-fide four letter word exemplifies teamwork.

Gabe Pruitt: Look, you really didn't NEED Scot's "t". "Pruit" would have been just fine. But you get a ring anyway.


Finally, just a short word to Celtic fans everywhere (and I know we ARE everywhere!) -- leave Kobe alone. You can't criticize a guy for not being as good as MJ after all. Seriously, what if you were compared to the all-time greats at whatever you do? The GREAT accountants. CEO's. Lawyers. French-fry cooks. You wouldn't measure up, either. It's ridiculous, like knocking Pierce for not being Bird. Just let it go. We won! Don't gloat like a punk, go order your championship gear and be happy. We're the champs! Everybody else is irrelevant.