Syringes are dripping with irony

I don't know if Roger Clemens used HGH, watches HGTV on HDTV, or smokes THC while driving a GMAC to KFC. And really, I don't care either. Aside from the increasingly bizarre stories that continue to circulate around him (HGH gives you a virtually un-hittable four-seamer . . . and your wife a smokin' hot swimsuit model bod! who knew?), I really just wish the whole thing would go away so that the sports world could focus on my Celtics and the IU recruiting violations debacle (and even that's getting old to this Oklahoma fan -- more on THAT irony another day, if you're lucky). There's one angle, though, that just absolutely stands up and begs to be pointed and laughed at.

So there's corruption in baseball. Action must be taken. Ok, whatever, that's fine. Now I understand the whole anti-trust exemption and some of what goes along with that, but seriously, who's idea was it to bring in THE GOVERNMENT to A) find the truth, and B) clean up the cheating? Really? The government? Were the Gambino's overbooked? Isn't bringing in the government to help restore the integrity of the game a little like calling on Howard Stern to restore a higher level of appropriateness, Elizabeth Taylor for making marriages work, or Paris Hilton for personal dignity? And then it gets even better when, before the hearing, Roger's signing and giving away balls -- and just that quickly the government cats are breaking their own rules themselves before they even get to ask a question. You just can't make this stuff up kids.

In at least some seriousness, though -- does baseball really require the attention of our countries leaders? I know I voted for my representative because I want them to be involved in bettering education for our children, decreasing the tax burden and ridiculous welfare system, and taking a tough stance against performance enhancing drugs in pro sports. At first you'd think there might be something more important that you might like your fearless leaders to be working with . . . until you remember that they're the government and their track record (pun intended -- ha!) isn't all that impressive . . . maybe baseball is a good place for them to spend a while after all. In fact, I went to pee-wee soccer game the other day and thought some of those kids looked suspiciously big and fast (no word on their wives swimsuit spreads) -- hey, Mr. Congressman! Come quick!!!