Becoming the Metal Fan

Do you kids like the rock 'n' roll? I do. Yesterday one of my very, very favorite rock 'n' roll (or progressive death metal, whichever) bands was playing in some type of an un-air-conditioned machine shed/garage/burning-scalding-sweaty-fiery-furnace deal in the middle of the "city" park in the middle of nowhere *cough* I mean the middle of Scottsburg, Indiana. As you might expect, I have thoughts.

First comes the biggest gripe -- why don't these things EVER start even remotely close to the times they advertise? Let's not even get into the fact that finding any kind of credible-looking info on the details of this one was a good chore, because even then I found three different start times! One source said 6, another 6:30, and a third 7. So, not knowing the venue or the promoter or how many bands are playing or just generally how things roll in Scottsburg Indiana (!), we swing through at about 6:30. When does the first band actually start? A little after 8. Cool! Hey fellas -- who wants to go sit in a park in Scottsburg? Er, I mean, not that cool. Besides, my friend Jeremy had to be at work at midnight . . . and we were in Scottsburg, Indiana! Becoming the Archetype (oh yeah -- that's the band we went to see) didn't get on until about 10:30, and Jeremy had to rush back to get to work on time. This IS a Sunday night, by the way. He may have been the only one to work that night, but I'm guessing I was NOT the only one who had to work on Monday morning. (On second thought, as about the only over-16 people there, if we hadn't shown up, maybe nobody would have had to work on Monday morning. I don't know -- when DOES the Scottsburg, Indiana McDonalds require their slacker punks to show up during the summer?)

That done, there were a lot of highlights, too. The fellas were a lot of fun, and a couple of them got introduced to a whole new world. One of them was my friend Kyle's seven year-old. Metal up, Jacob! Awesome. How cool was it to see him in the very front, bobbing his head up and down and grinning? Did I mention that he's seven? And maybe the best behaved seven year-old in the world (and for sure in Scottsburg, Indiana). He hung out with a crew of geriatric cats (and Damon) for like 4 hours and never made a deal out of anything. On the flip side, Jeremy was probably the oldest person there, but it was his first "real" metal show, too. He's not really a metalhead or a hardcore kid, he just likes to go to stuff and have fun, so we took him. He also really likes to make fun of people, and if you've never been to a metal/hardcore show -- ummm, how shall we say -- he had a lot of material to work with. A LOT of material. And his aim was true, friends. If you were at the show, Jeremy probably made fun of you. And thank you for taking the hit on that, because we never would have had as much fun without your a-symmetrical hair to rip on. -- Side note -- How did it ever become "cool" to have your hairline look like it was following the price of Enron stock? I know, I know, I just don't get it because I'm old and crap, but mark my words -- the "emo swoop" or whatever it's called will go down in pop-culture history alongside parachute pants, pet rocks, and glam rock. In ten years I'll bet you won't be able to find *anybody* who will admit that they did this, but we'll know better. -- End side note -- Also, you should know that this band in particular has one of the most phenomenally ridiculous metal guitarists that anybody could ever imagine, and after he ripped off his first phenomenally ridiculous (really) solo, the look on Jeremy's face was absolutely priceless. It was like . . . like the Lions WON a game. Seriously!

Anyway, in a "scene" where the word "amazing" gets thrown around for anybody who can chug an open drop-d, Becoming the Archetype truly are/were amazing. But even better (and a LOT longer!) was just hanging out and complaining about the heat with my bros Jeremy, Jason, Nick, Kyle, Damon, and Jacob. Oh yeah, and laughing at YOU, if you're the guy in the 95 degree heat who decided that taking off your hooded sweatshirt (that's "hoodie" to you, I believe) was a risk you just weren't willing to take. After all, you ARE hardcore!