The Best of Times, the Worst of Times

Talk about dichotomy. The Celtics are very, very good. The Lions -- after a promising start -- are still the Lions. Check some of this out:

1) The Celtics played their first game on November 2. Since then, they've played a total of 22 games, while the Lions have played a total of 7. Despite playing less than one-third the number of games, the Lions have lost three times as many games as the Celtics (6 to 2).

2) In the same period of time, the Celtics have won 20 times as many games as the Lions (20 to 1). I can't make this stuff up, kids.

3) Lions opponents come close to outscoring Celtics opponents. The Knicks scored 59 points against the Celtics; the Eagles scored 56 and the Chargers 51 against the Lions. Typically, of course, an NBA team will score roughly 3 times the number of points of an NFL team.

4) Despite playing 3 or 4 more games every season, the Lions have had fewer wins than Oklahoma football every single season this millennium. Not only that, but twice (the current season will likely make three) in that time they've won MORE post-season (Big 12 Championships and bowls) games in a single season than the Lions have won since the inception of the Super Bowl.

5) In the last 6 weeks, the Dolphins have won more games than the Lions. In the same time, the Phillies have won the same number of games that the Lions have, and they're not even in uniform. In fact, I -- by myself (that is, not only without teammates, but also without a uniform, pads, a ball, or 150 total lbs of body mass) have won the same number of games as the Lions. Come to think of it, my dog, my grandmothers (I love you!), and John-Jacob Jingleheimer Schmitt (sp?) have also won as many games as the Lions in the past six weeks. In fairness, however, my dog is surprisingly nimble for being overweight. I've never actually tried to tackle my grandmothers, so I'm not able to speak intelligently to their athletic prowess or lack thereof.

And do you know what? Really, it isn't even the worst of times. The Lions STILL have as many or more wins than any Lion team since '01. Wow. I truly never thought that the best of times would be so . . . below .500.