So . . . Do You Like Bacon?

1. The Celtics lost, in overtime, on the road, to the defending Eastern Conference champions last night, and I'm upset about it. That's WAY better than, say, last year, when the losses were completely forgettable and the wins were shocking. So much better that I had to go order tickets for when they come to Indianapolis. Six years I've lived in Louisville, and never in that time did I make seeing a Celtics game a priority -- until now.

2. On Saturday OU plays the grammatically challenged but athletically formidable and #1 (ranked) Missouri ("Mizzou") Tigers for the Big Twelve Championship. And #1 is a three point underdog! It doesn't mean they don't "deserve" to be #1 -- they've lost one game and we've lost two -- it just goes to show that being the "best" team isn't always the most important thing. Anyway, here's to taking them down (again) and winning (another) conference championship. I know, it would probably put Ohio State in the championship game and nobody (outside of Ohio) wants that, but let's make it happen anyway.

3. Isn't Thanksgiving weekend supposed to be a "down" week for church attendance? Because Life Pointe just had our best attended service since Mother's Day and capped off our best attended month ever! The momentum and excitement are back, and if you're in or near Louisville you really owe it to yourself to check a service out. I really, really think you'll be altogether pleased with your decision.

4. Yep, I like bacon, too.

5. The latest from Nodes of Ranvier? Really quite enjoyable, if not necessarily original or groundbreaking. South Dakota's finest, and doing us all proud, thank you very much!

6. Fans of all things hilarious and worthy of repeated viewing click here. Just make sure you're not drinking anything that you don't want splattered all over your keyboard and monitor as you watch. You're welcome.

7. I desperately hope I have something more substantial to write about soon. In the meantime, if you can place the post title, leave it in the comments. That's right, the gauntlet's been thrown down. . . .

Way Late, But Way Fun!

I know this is out of season already, but drop a note into the complaint jar if you must. I thought that Laura and I were hilarious at the Life Pointe Halloween party and wanted you to share in the delight. Wohoo! (click on them and they get really big)



(for reference sake)

Maybe the funniest part, though, is that we won the best costume contest and were awarded . . . are you ready for this? A gift card to Blockbuster! It's not *quite* as funny now that I changed jobs, but you can't buy that kind of hilarity, right?


And just because it's here and I know the world is full of haters and flamers, here's my little diatribe on Christ-followers and Halloween:

"Don't you know the evil origins of Halloween?" the reactionaries ask. "Whether you know it or not, by dressing up (or allowing your children to dress up) and going to a party you're participating in an evil pagan celebration and it's wrong, wrong, wrong!" (The tri-fold "wrong" makes it wrong, then right the second time, but ULTRA-wrong with the third negative.)

Ok, let's just take that train of thought to it's logical conclusion, shall we? If, due to it's origin and original intent, dressing up and getting fun-size Milky Way from the neighbors is participating in evil, what does that mean for Santa and the Easter Bunny? Wouldn't it be consistent, then, to say that "Whether they know it or not, children asking drunk mall Santas for HALO 4 and gangsta rap is participating in the celebration of the miraculous birth of our savior! In fact, every time I see the Christmas ads for Victoria's Secret I just can't help but fall to my knees and praise God for the subtle but real way he's invading our culture! Similarly, Cadbury Cream Eggs bring a tear to my eye, because I know that every child who develops cavities as a result is doing so because of their unwitting but surely monstrously influential celebration of the singular high-point of Christian redemptive history! Oh hallelujah, I'm going to break out into an impromptu chorus of my favorite Gaither song right now!"

Now I ask you -- have you EVER heard the same person who opposes Halloween be in favor of Santa and the Easter Bunny? That's what I thought. Why do people think it's so spiritual to be angry all the time and against everything? My goodness, eat a chocolate Santa, enjoy life, and go love somebody who needs it. . . .


Color change note -- I put the OU Crimson and Cream up when they vaulted themselves into the national title chase, and an invigorating chase it was. They're still having a great season, but that's over now, and the Lions are running down a playoff spot, so Honolulu blue it is!

TTFN, BBOL!

Flogging, But With a "B" isn't necessarily full of "personal notes", but this one is worthwhile: this Friday the 16th is my last day at Blockbuster Online!

It's not that it's the worst job ever, per se. It doesn't pay much and the work is mindless and repetitive, but it's not necessarily unpleasant, at least when it's not 100+ degrees in the summer. That said, I'm moving on.

Laura got me an interview at the pharmacy in the hospital where she works, and the gig is just ridiculously ideal for my life. It's a PRN position, which means that I quite literally make my own schedule and (more or less) work whatever and as many hours as I decide to . . . and then get paid extra for the convenience. Seriously! As you might guess, the pharm is also climate controlled, which will be a very, VERY big plus come summer, and I'll actually know when my shifts will be ending before I go in.

And to top it off, how about this little gem -- at my job interview, the manager was asking questions about Life Pointe to the point(e) where I just couldn't NOT toss her an invite card (as tacky as that felt at a job interview), which she looked at, chuckled, and then ASKED FOR MORE!!! So while I'm desperate to make sure that everybody at BBOL gets invited out (one more time) before I'm gone for good, there's a whole new network of peeps that I'll get to meet and interact with, and hopefully invest in in a more meaningful way than was possible at the warehouse.

Hey, I met a lot of GREAT people and had some good times at BBOL (and also met some gold-medal losers and had some pretty bad days, but whatever), but it's time to turn the page. Friday is it! And then it's off to what I shall, from this point(e) on, affectionately refer to as "the p-pharm." Wohoo!

Democratacisy? Sounds great!

As Americans we treasure -- above all else (with the possible exception of the right to procreate at will and let the government pay for the consequences) the right to vote in public elections. It validates us. It tells us that our opinions matter. It means that we have a voice. And here today, in what *may* eclipse even my BCS post as the most hated in the history of Flogging, But With a "B", I'll tell you why it's a terrible idea.

Let's start with a story. I lived for several years in Minnesota where you can actually register at the polls. When I went to register/vote, I provided the requisite information and verification, and was then instructed to print and sign my name along with my date of birth. With all the care and caution of your least favorite multinational environment-raping oil conglomerate, then, I proceeded to indicate that I had been born, apparently, earlier that day. The poll worker was very nice and helped me correct the obvious oversight, and I proceeded to cast a vote in determining the course of our country, state, and county. But should I have been allowed to, really? My attention and care was so infinitesimal that I put "today's" date where my date of birth was supposed to go, and yet I was somehow qualified to have a say in things? Is that REALLY sound policy?

Here's the deal, though -- I'm a reasonably sharp dude. Even at the time the story took place (7 or 8 years ago) I held a B. S. (that still cracks me up) and had better critical thinking skills than a lot of people. My only conclusion, though, is that there was absolutely NO WAY I should have been allowed to vote! Which led me down a dark and depressing thought highway which dumped me off at the point where I've determined that democracy (representative or otherwise) is officially a bad idea.

Look, if you're anything like me, you're pretty happy that political ads, phone calls, etc. are done for a bit. They're obnoxious, misleading, and intentionally slanted with half-truths and twisted logic. If somebody voted against a bill that would use taxpayer money ([Jack Nicholson voice ON] "Is there another kind?" [Jack Nicholson voice OFF]) to put plasma tv's in every 2nd grader's coat hanger, he's against education and hates children. If he had a plan that would eliminate income tax completely but bump sales tax by half a cent, he's trying to give the rich more tax breaks and take bread from babies. And do you know what bothers me the most about these? That they work!!! Let's face it -- there wouldn't be 8,000,000 ads during every hour of tv if they didn't have effect, and that means that the insipid things are actually effecting people's votes, and the outcome of our elections. What kind of a system is this?

Do you know what, though? Even if we didn't base our votes on manipulated half-truths and emotional appeals, we STILL wouldn't be really qualified to vote. Raise your hand if you REALLY know what's going on in Iraq, or the probable consequences of any course of action? How about economics? Who here REALLY understands the various factors and arguments regarding costs of health care and what socialization would mean? Do any among us understand the implications of big political topics? What about the fact that, even among experts, there's heated disagreement? How does THAT turn into people who DON'T know stuff having a say?

Here's where it gets really bad, though. Yesterday I had somebody with a 10th grade education tell me that they'd just come from the polls. On one particular issue they admitted -- laughing -- that they really didn't understand the question, and so just voted "no". Now, I ask you -- who determined that this was a GOOD way to run a country?

That said, the only better system I've come up with is to just kill the whole deal and put me in charge. Now, who's going to vote for that one?

Belligerant Complaint System

All right -- who wants a college football playoff system, raise your hand. Ok, good. Me too. Glad to get that out of the way. But you know what I want almost more than that? For people to stop complaining about the BCS.

"The BCS kept the unanimous #1 team in the nation out of the championship game in 2003!"

"The BCS is too complicated!"

"The BCS ran over my dog with it's mini-van!"

Wah, wah, wah. I'm legitimately sorry if something happened to your dog, but it's well past time for the rest of you to give some rest to the rest of us.

2003 almost always seems to be exhibit A, so let's look at that. The outcry was thunderous when Oklahoma and LSU played for the championship despite USC (the one in California) being ranked #1 in both the AP and coaches poll. "It's UNANIMOUS!" people cried. Well, half of that sentence is true -- people cried! And it's true that USC was #1 in each poll, but neither was "unanimous". All three teams -- each with one loss -- received first place votes, which is the very definition of NOT unanimous. You know what WAS unanimous, though? That EVERY computer poll used had Oklahoma ranked #1. So how obnoxious is it that everybody was all mad and said that they had to change the computers? It's like this -- people realized that the human polls are subject to any number of biases, weaknesses, and subjectivities, and so intentionally and knowingly they implemented and factored in a computer ranking which -- although subject to it's own set of weaknesses -- would provide clear objective input to balance out the subjectivity of human voters. But when people didn't like what they had to say, you would have thought that Skynet had become self-aware.

Also, do people realize that before the BCS, all three teams would have played in different games and probably nothing would have been resolved? I'm not saying that a playoff wouldn't be better -- it would. But isn't this a whole lot better than it was before? So you're not eating at Morton's. I'm sorry. But yesterday you were asking for "More gruel, please!" and today you're grilling burgers and pork chops. Stop complaining.

Side note -- here's why USC didn't "deserve" to play for the championship, in my opinion. 1) They lost a game. In college football, when you lose, you forfeit any RIGHT to play for the championship. You may still be granted a chance, but you've left it up to chance, and now you just have to hope for the best. Sorry. Now of course this applies to OU and LSU also, but the next criteria does not; 2) What happened in their conference championship game? Oh yeah, they didn't play one. LSU had one loss in their regular season and then won their POST-season SEC Championship game, which gave them one more win -- and a BIG win -- then USC had. Oklahoma had ZERO losses in their regular season (playing the most difficult schedule of the three teams in question!), and then lost their POST-season Big 12 Championship game. People's reaction -- as incredible as it seems -- was that OU should be penalized for losing their extra game for which USC had NO CORRELATE AT ALL when they'd won ALL their regular season games. OU went 12-0 in their regular season. USC went 11-1. Then OU dropped their EXTRA game, which USC didn't play. Now somebody explain to me how that makes USC more deserving.

Side note two -- to USC people who have "claimed" the championship -- where's your trophy? Huh? Baton Rouge? Why does the inscription say "Louisiana State University"? Boy, if I was the athletic director at USC, I'd have this situation addressed immediately!

For what it's worth, this year the computers hate OU. You know what? That's tough. We lost to Colorado, and so now we have to hope for the best.

Now how about this "it's all too complicated" garbage. Seriously, the people on tv have been saying this for years. The one's who, it's their JOB to know about it? When OU starting entering into the picture, I looked the formula up on-line, read for about 5 minutes, and said "Oh, ok. I get it." My IQ is not in the genius range. Think about stuff, it's not that hard. Goodness.

There are other complaints, but they're all crap too. Some people talk about how a playoff would do away with all controversy. Really? Is that why everybody's so happy and controversy-free after the field for the 65-team basketball tournament is revealed? Or how about "settle it on the field!" Yep, that's what the whole process is based on, is what happens on the field. And now, since the BCS came along, we've had a real championship game on the field, too. See how much better that is!

Again, I'm not saying a playoff wouldn't be better. It would. I'm for that! But you know what else I'm for? Less whining and victimization. Play football. Win your games. Have a good time. Go back home. See? Now everybody wins. (Not you, Baylor.)