Green Seventeen!

After weeks of remaining silent about the progress of the Celtics, it's time to indulge me in a 2nd straight post honoring the men in green. You've brought me the first professional championship I've tasted in 22 years, and thus I offer my humble tribute.

Danny Ainge: Like your jumper, you've hit some and missed others. This year, however, you truly made magic happen. Absolutely incredible job.

Doc Rivers: I still don't really know if you're a good NBA coach or not (or what that is, really), but you got the results.

Paul Pierce: As Bill Simmons would say, "Welcome to the pantheon." You've just entered Celtic immortality.

Kevin Garnett: Nobody's worked harder or cared more. With more guys like you, people might actually watch the NBA.

Ray Allen: Definitive of "professional athlete" in the best sense of the phrase.

Rajon Rondo: UK basketball players who won championships in Boston: Antoine Walker? No. Tony Delk? No again. Walter McCarty? Hardly. Ron Mercer? Psh. Rajon Rondo? Yes, yes I believe so!

Kendrick Perkins: I love how your looks killed every official who ever called you for any foul under any circumstance. The season's over and you won, so go ahead and smile now. It's ok. Honest.

James Posey: A "bench player" in lineup status only. Truly indispensable, and the entire Celtic Nation begs you to return and win again.

Leon Powe: Although the rest of the watching world stopped with mouth agape, no Celtic fan was surprised when you scored 20 points in a Finals game.

Eddie House: Your go-ahead shot in game 4 stands out, but certainly not because it was your only big moment.

P. J. Brown: I'll admit, when we signed you, I didn't think we needed you. I was wrong.

Sam Cassell: Wow, do you like to shoot the ball or what!

Glen Davis: Nobody in the history of basketball has taken more abuse and gotten fewer calls. Maybe flashing that ring will help next year?

Tony Allen: Um. . . you sure did get a couple minutes there at the end, eh?

Brian Scalabrine: By remaining on the roster, you serve as a reminder to us all about how far the team has come in so short a time. And it's pretty cool that you can joke about it.

Scot Pollard: You never saw the court, but the way you gave up that "t" to make your name a bona-fide four letter word exemplifies teamwork.

Gabe Pruitt: Look, you really didn't NEED Scot's "t". "Pruit" would have been just fine. But you get a ring anyway.


Finally, just a short word to Celtic fans everywhere (and I know we ARE everywhere!) -- leave Kobe alone. You can't criticize a guy for not being as good as MJ after all. Seriously, what if you were compared to the all-time greats at whatever you do? The GREAT accountants. CEO's. Lawyers. French-fry cooks. You wouldn't measure up, either. It's ridiculous, like knocking Pierce for not being Bird. Just let it go. We won! Don't gloat like a punk, go order your championship gear and be happy. We're the champs! Everybody else is irrelevant.

B-Day Shuffle Play

If you know me, you know that there are really only two "things" in life that I care about ("things" excluding God and people): cd's and sports. And if you know me well, you know that I have a pretty good cd collection and you know which teams I've been cheering for 20-some years solid.

Well yesterday the 17th was my birthday, and Baby hooked me up with exactly what I wanted -- you see, my two 100-cd towers have been over-filled for some time now, and the space below the tv in the entertainment center was virtually out of space for the "discard" pile, too. Plus, I had the constant struggle of organization -- which cd's make it into the sacred tower, and how is this determined? And of course they're all alphabetical by artist (and chronological within the artist, naturally), and then when you pick up -- say, the latest Apostisy album, and you know it's worthy of a place, you have to determine which cd to REplace, right, and if it's, say, a mediocre Zao offering, well that's about 195 cd's to re-arrange, one at a time. It's a lot of re-arranging, you see, and so this new high-capacity shelf system is going to make all of that null and void. It's great!

You know who I have nothing on, though? They guy who's going to have to re-arrange and make room for Banner Number Seventeen. It's been a loooooong 22 years (keep in mind, I'm not a "Boston" sports fan, and it's been since '86 since any of "my" pro teams have won), and I was never really sure it would happen again. So happy. So, so happy.

Celebrity Poster!

Well Hello Ross

and everybody else who is a Flogger. . . (Is that the way to say it?) Oh well, imagine my surprise when we, my whole family were together from several states meeting in San Diego for my oldest sons wedding. (His 2nd one).

My granddaughter and I sitting at the computer playing around when she Googled my name and somehow up came this Flogging site. (I said Flogging, that's even better then Freeken.)

She started screaming and laughing and it brought the whole family in to read all about me. Yeah, me! There were people talking about me on the net. You all with your comments gave us such a great time that night as we laughed and laughed at them. A good time was had by all.

My daughter, Tammy Sue, who be now refer to as Heidie, (is that how its spelled?) because one of you floggers said that's who she should be. She filled out the form and done what ever you do to get on there to be a flogger too. She did it so she could contact you letting you know we were onto you and your flogging comments.

If you've heard her sing with me you know she has a voice thats pure; Course I'm not sure you guys like pure. Now that totally blows my mind. What are we coming to if we have generation who doesn't like pure, clear, clean voices and songs you can understand.

By now you've figured out I'm of an older generation. I admit a lot of the country stuff isn't that pure. I've always said of myself, I'm not a country singer; I'm a Western singer. There is a difference.

I've always commented in my concerts that a country singer sings songs like "Who stoled my Beer while I was in the mens room". Western singers sing songs like, " If my nose was runnin' money I'd blow it all on you"

(come on, thats a joke)

I told that to my wife once. I said. . . "Honey, If my nose was runnin' money I'd blow it all on you. . ." She said. . ."Yeah but its not"

SORRY, I did it again.

Ok, you want to know about me? Sure ya do.

As my one song "The Idaho Yodeler" explains word for word I was only around 11 years old. With 10 kids in our family and on a farm we entertained ourselves by listening to old 78 records one at a time on a wind up phonograph. We stood around with broom sticks, mop sticks and what ever else would resemble a musical instrument and listen to songs imitating who ever was singing and or playing.

One of us always had a table spoon that was a microphone. Taking turns with it we would pantomime or imitate who ever was singing and that person who had the spoon was the star for that song. . . .

We had a record by a singing and yodeler known as Elton Britt who sang and yodeled a song called "She taught me to yodel". It was my turn to have the spoon and imitate Elton Britt. He started singing and I sang along. When he came to the yodeling part I tried to do that and it rolled out as if I'd been doing it all my life. It was no struggle and was as easy as talking or singing. It just came out natural from down in my voice box (most people think its with the tongue, no, its back down there in the voice box). I found myself yodeling right along with the record. My brothers and sisters stopped playing the broom sticks and whatever and just stared at me not believing what they were hearing. I even stopped to see if it was me doing it.

Well I gotta find a way to end this story but it wasn't long after that my dad bought me a guitar, I taught myself a few chords and after doing a few local talent shows I got on a show called "Ted Mack Amateur Hour". The equivalent of American Idol today. Of course it was the first talent show on television which at that time was black and white. (Do you floggers know what black and white is?)

I won the show 3 times in a row, was offered opportunities to go on to what might have been big time stardom however by that time I'd joined the military and my commanding General insisted I serve my time and then pursue the big time later. I had 4 years to do. By they I'd been forgotten.

I became a police officer after the service in the military and then a narcotics officer for the State of Idaho. After a few years there I began working with drug rehab centers. Eventually I left law enforcement to become involved full time with a rehab center called "Bible Way Rehabilitation Center" in Richland Washington.

As a member of the staff of this Christian organization I started a singing group made up of several ex drug addicts. This was back in the hippie days.

Now imagine if you will. . . here is a ex narcotics officer leading a group of singers who are ex drug addicts. As we traveled around the Northwest singing up beat contemporary Gospel music in parks, beaches, conventions, schools, churches, each one in the group would between songs share how they had been on drugs and were now free and how. ( I won't go into all that except to say Jesus was involved). There were hippies everywhere and they came by the bunches to our concerts and we recruited them to follow us back to Richland where we gave them shelter, food and teaching.

It was while leading this group I started writing Gospel yodeling songs. I no anyone had ever heard of such a thing but I took the scripture where it says in Psalm 100 to "Make a joyful noise" which means make any gleeful sound. I used that as my excuse and began to sing and yodel gospel songs which became such accepted then that soon I was being invited all over the United States and Canada.

I eventually left the rehab center as invitations came from so many different places and so far away there was no way to take a whole group of 40 young people with me. A little note. . . most of them ended up in one type of ministry or another and some are missionaries. Talk about a successful rehab program huh?

So I could go on and on and tell you stories that even I have a hard time believing happened but they did but I spent the last 30 years traveling the world and not once did I ever look for a place or ask for a place to sing and share with every denomination and Christian group or organization you can name. Matter of fact I stopped counting at singing at over 6000 Full Gospel business men's Banquets.

Oh yes, I also did and do a lot of secular (That's not Gospel to you floggers)

concerts where I sing allot of the old yodeling western songs from the past plus I have written many of my own.

My career was cut short a year and a half ago as I was standing on my own lawn minding my own business when a young man with a pickup truck came across my lawn at about 65 miles an hour and hit me square. I was standing next to another pickup that kept me up or he'd have run over me and killed me but instead he turned that pickup completely around with me in between, then went on and hit a couple more vehicles. My right leg was badly smashed and after a month in the hospital getting it put together I have spent most of the time since then in therapy getting my leg to work again. I had to have the knee replaced just a couple month ago which was the last operation needed to put me back on my feet.

I have not sung or yodeled since. I am back on my feet but with a terrible limp that I'm not sure will ever go away. I still have the yodel though I'm out of practice, I can still sing but I don't know where I go from here.

I plan on going to Arizona for the winter where I have spent many winters doing concerts for the snow birds. (That's all those retired folks who go south for the winter in case you floggers don't know.) Maybe I'll get started again but for now I'm just taking it one day at a time.

I hope this hasn't been too boring and I hope its not too long. There just was no place to start or stop because there is so much more on either end of the story.

Thank you all for allowing me to share this. Go ahead and blog or flog or what ever and I will enjoy every bit of it.

You all are terrific and you made my year.

Sincerely,

Buzz Goertzen

The Idaho Yodeler

www.theidahoyodeler.com

If the Blog's Bad, Just Don't Read!

I've said it repeatedly, but I don't blame you if you don't believe me. This is NOT a sports blog. But sports are a big part of my life, and therefore a big part of the blog. And besides, somethings just can NOT be ignored. So as we eagerly await to hear from Buzz, I feel compelled to address some recent NBA happenings, and while the C's moving into an epic NBA Finals against the Great Big Pacific Salt-Water Body of Water Hundreds of Miles South of Tahoe Lakers is big news, you either already know or don't care. The REAL blog-worthy story is this -- the league announced that starting next year, players are going to be fined for falling down without being pushed.

It's amazing how often I'm watching sports (usually the Lions, really) and I find myself screaming at "my" players "FALL DOWN LESS!!!" as my guys stumble over hash-marks and watch helplessly from the turf as the opposing player carries the ball past them. You see, in sports, falling down very rarely provides an unfair competitive advantage. I've listened to a lot of post-game interviews, and never have I heard a coach or player explain the outcome with anything like "Well, I think the key to the win today was the way we were able stay off our feet. Whenever there was any contact at all, we just hit the deck and it really paid off in the end." I've never read somebody talk about practice or mini-camp and say "Today we just worked mostly on fundamentals, some conditioning, and trying to fall down more." What's next here -- will there be fouls called for failing to contest lay-ups and dunks? Will players be suspended for missing free-throws? Will there be a "three strikes and you're out" (baseball analogy, I know) rule against being beaten off the dribble by a slow white power forward?

Look, I get why they're doing it. Flopping's ridiculous and shameful, but how can you fine a player for choosing to put himself at a competitive disadvantage? I know it's hard and all, but isn't the real answer to just officiate properly? If a dude falls and isn't fouled, just let him fall! This ain't exactly spur-science here, right? But in the middle of the most horrifically officiated playoffs in memory -- and this is with the mole ref OUT of the league, remember -- the answer is apparently to fine players for attempting to take advantage of inept refs. Unbelievable.

We Have an Accord

Not an accordion (that would be polka, not yodeling), but an accord. That's right -- I'm very, VERY happy to announce that THE Buzz Goertzen has agreed (with some degree of enthusiasm, even!) to contribute a post to Flogging. . . .

What a long, strange trip it's been. Honestly, this blog was never even intended to be read, really. And then it's found by the mother of a member of a metal band, then the granddaughter of the (to my knowledge, at least) greatest living yodeler, and I can only ask myself "what's next"? And, in order to REALLY take it to the next level, I'm forced to ask . . . Dido? Are you out there? Let's hit the trifecta, baby!

But until then (and by "then" I mean "never") -- we'll be awaiting a blog by Buzz. He's busy and out of his home at the moment and so I've happily removed my one week time clock. Buzz will do what Buzz will do, whenever Buzz will do it. And that's just pretty cool with me.

Stirring Up a Buzz!

If you're new (or new-ish, even) to "Flogging. . ." you may not know the name Buzz Goertzen. Your ignorance, however understandable, must be rectified. Click here and read up on the mysterious and borderline paranormal way in which an otherwise forgettable conversation in a warehouse has exploded into a legitimate theme in my life and absolute highlight of my blog. In blog entry tags, Goertzen ranks third behind sports and general -- but he is the unquestioned number one in our hearts as well as response, reader enthusiasm, and ripple-effect into my real life, as the posts in the above link should make abundantly clear.

Now, however, the yodeling invasion has been taken to a previously un-imaginable level. In the last two days, by virtue of blog comments (read them at the bottom of the post here) and a myspace message, I've been contacted by Buzz's daughter Tammy Sue, Buzz's dragon-esque granddaughter Chelsea, and finally the Idaho Yodeler himself.

As my previous posts indicate, for a while the way yodeling was suddenly showing up in the most unexpected places in my life was equal parts amusing and disturbing, but with this newest level I'm ready to completely abandon myself to the whims of the yodel-gods with a previously un-considered recklessness. I don't know where this may take me, but I never -- NEVER -- expected to be here blogging about Buzz Goertzen and his family (!) writing about my blog. So I'm pushing my chips into the middle and I'm going to let 'em ride. Let's see what kind of level we can take this to, really. I'm making this your show, Buzz. I'm offering you -- no, I'm BEGGING of you -- to take control of "Flogging. . ." for one post. Anything at all you want to say, use this platform. I give you my word to faithfully post whatever it is that you'd like to say, complete and un-edited (assuming, of course, that you stay away from profanity and what not). I'll give you an entire week. I'm pretty sure that the readers would love to read whatever it is you'd like to share, and I KNOW it would be my honor. Don't let us down Buzz -- you're on the clock!

Two Words:

Paul Pierce.